This is something random that wrote itself. If you get confused, don't worry; it isn't supposed to make sense. See if you can spot the Loveless and Kannazuki no Miko references (I mean, even though you don't watch those animes(?)). There are some obvious Alice in Wonderland references, and the shape-shifter is loosely based on Pandora Hearts characters. Somehow, when I go to type up schoolwork, it ends up way too random...
Unlike blah, I went to Wonderland. Grass was short, green, seedless. I turned away and found clipped hedges. “All hail Her Majesty, Queen of Hearts and nature mutilator,” they seemed to say. I couldn't bare it. I flopped down onto the unwelcoming, injured grass. The fresh, wet scent assaulted my nostrils. “Death comes with no creation in this place,” I commented aloud. “Krishna, Krishna, Krishna.” Suddenly, a blue statue with sinuous strands of pale, energetic light appeared. I could float, for I suddenly understood absolute joy, absolute love. The world rose to life, growing. A red contamination of a person seeped into the ground, twisting, contorting the muchness of the world. My heart dropped to the ground of growing grass. Where it fell, another blue god rose. This one shone of cleanliness and purity. Destruction became apparent, and the redness of a corrupted queen was eliminated. I was thankful for Shiva, but frightened of him, too. A balance of creation and destruction must be attained. I wove a pattern of spells and radiance across the now-knee-high grass. That was the cycle of producing an unattainable beauty, then decimating its imperfection. My heart was glad, giddy, attached, yet absent, aching, heavy all at the same time. My blood was metallic, bright red, sticky. This heart licked the loving liquid. I scooped the essential organ up with my hands and gently placed it back in my chest. It was unblemished and fertile, the perfect combination. I stood up, my arms raised, reaching gleefully. I told the gods, “You see, my heart has glee. A Queen of Hearts with no true heart could not last. I will change your ways, Wonderland, my love!” I knew nothing of leadership, so the gods disappeared. They didn't really exist anyway. Gods and Wonderland were the fantasies of death and life. Death is half of a thing. Life is the other half, darling. I turned my attention towards the grass. It towered over my head, long and healthy with seeds, itchy and dry with age. “Love me, fear me, do as I say and I will be your slave.” It was a whisper in my ear, a rustle of my hair. Laughter let me float up in the sky. How could I express all this joy? I needed her, yes, I needed HER. What did the world matter if her voice was gone, her vivacity dead? So here it was, and that was all I could hope for. All I ever wanted. “My, my, you do seem to be enjoying yourself, no?” a slippery, amused, sing-song voice said. “Ah-aha,” I managed to stutter. The voice transformed into something full of reptilian spite and danger. “The shape-shifter can give you thoughts, but I won't let you understand.” The voice became a cautious, almost bitter drawl. “Not unless you find Cheshire.” Whatever. I didn't need to understand. I just wanted to find Her, and this shape-shifter wouldn't help at all. “Oh, love love me, love love you, see me through,” I chanted from my blinding, blue-tinted soul. That special golden one mixed with mine. We were one and the same, connected by a togetherness that felt like it belonged. Two women, two moons, two changing cycles of life and death. My shape-shifter begged, “Please try to understand. Come to my delusion— I mean, illusion. Come to this heavenly ideal. It has no love, no fury, no fire.” My love, my blazing fire fell into my arms and embraced me. Finally, she was here. As if lovelessness was a heavenly ideal. As if heaven had ideals. As if heaven was anything but a shape-shifters delusions. I knew what truly showed perfection. “You came to me, Naryashi,” she breathed into my sternum. I replied, “I am always with you. Wonderland is here. Please, come back to yourself and you will see.” Our bodies melted together, yet still, skin kept us from truly becoming one. Two separate, strongly connected humans. She came back, Wonderland collapsing around us. My shape-shifters voice lost its source and ceased to be. So did the long grass, the destroyed red. Nothing was. Instead, everything was her. Stating the obvious, I said, “You're back. You're not Wonderland anymore, Felicity. I let you grow, but all the same, we fit together.” “Yes, even after I have found that maturity, we cannot lose each other. Thank you for saving me from that Red Queen of problems.” She sighed, almost wistfully. I pulled her closer. “You'll always be mine. Don't forget that your teacher is the one with whom you belong, the one who has guided and loved you. Look up to me, tell me what to do, let me dominate you. Like you said, I will love you, fear you, do what you say, and you will be my slave. That is the way it has always been with our people, and your experimental Wonderland has proven that we are no exception.” Something new glowed in her eyes. “No. The reason you could reach me is different. Let us learn together, defy submission together, find our own path. You found perfection in experiments, not traditions. I will join with you! Someday, we will find our unity. It doesn't matter that this is not the way, I just... I just need you.” “Together? Our shared name is nonexistent.” “Our shared name is my real name, a name I found imprinted in my soul when you found my Wonderland.” My heart raced as I inquired, “What did you find? What is it? I cannot see it.” Her hands found my hair, and she smiled. Our hearts glowed boldly, pure white. “Ah, yes, yes. I know, Groundless. We are one now,” I spoke for the last time. Flighted, floating, free. I clasped her hands and entered with my entire body, going through solid matter like a ghost. Yellow and blue souls combined to form a brilliant white. When I returned to myself, the bloody, red strand between our hearts was unbreakable. “Do we have a world?” she asked. “It is us. Our imaginations can make us an environment of life and laughter.” We laughed, our voices light and carefree. We sang in low moans. We danced our world into life, both of us round, soft, feminine. It was a world of a perfect balance of making and ruining. We knew through our love how to care and nurture as mothers. We knew through cold, unforgiving determination and ambition how to love something to death if it needed to go. We knew how to be each other.
Wow, rereading that, I realize how much it sucks. There is nothing to explain what the heck is going on. I don't know, myself. Well then. I liked the part with the bloody heart, at least. I don't know if this is romance, or some other kind of love... um, whatever. Blah blah blah.
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